Twelve Rules for Raising Delinquent Children

How to Ruin Your Children – Guaranteed 100% Infallible
Originally from The Mighty Atom

  1. Begin in infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way, he will grow up to believe that the world owes him a living.
  2. When he picks up bad words, laugh at him. This will make him think he is cute. It will also encourage him to pick up cuter phrases.
  3. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait until he’s 21 and then let him decide for himself.
  4. Avoid use of the word “wrong”. It may develop into a guilt complex. Later, when he is arrested, he can conclude that society is against him and that he is being persecuted.
  5. Pick up everything he leaves lying around: books, shoes, clothes. Do everything for him, so that he will be experienced in throwing all responsibility upon others.
  6. Let him read any printed matter that he can get his hands on. Be careful that the silverware and drinking glasses are sterilized, but let his mind feast on garbage.
  7. Quarrel frequently in the presence of your children. In this way, they will not be too shocked when their home is broken up later.
  8. Give a child all the spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own. Why should he have things as tough as you had them?
  9. Satisfy his every craving for food, drink and comfort. See that every sensual desire is gratified. Denial may lead to harmful frustration.
  10. Take his part against neighbors, teachers, and police officers. They are all prejudiced against your child.
  11. When he gets into trouble, apologize to yourself by saying, “I never could do anything with him.”
  12. Prepare for a life of grief. You will be likely to have it.